Why are some people like others in their personal lives and their professional environment? Some people may be very successful in their home, they are in good relationship with their spouses and children, but they have a lot of communication problems in their office: problems with bosses, but good contacts with colleagues or vice versa, good relations with bosses, but conflicts between other leaders and subordinates. Others have good contacts in the office at the expense of their marriage and family life: they spend too much time in the office and the family can feel themselves ignored and abandoned at home.

The main cause of the problem is communication or more accurate: effective communication. In fact, it is surprising that a lot of communication is progressing most of the time. However, if a communication problem arises, the question is: what went wrong? Usually an unanswered question remains. Lots of books, articles and websites dedicated to communication problems. It provides some scientific evidence of communication barriers and obstacles, but let them find practical solutions to the reader. Practically more orientated recipes are difficult to implement due to the lack of time and practice. For example, touch sensitivity: it became common knowledge that it is important to be convincing in everyday life. But how can it be convincing when nature intervenes? The top of the personality (extroverted versus introvert) is a matter of culture: people from certain countries are simply less extroverted than other countries.

Would not it be extremely useful a simple formula for effective communication, which is used in all circumstances? I think the following formula would be useful:


Let's see the three elements of the formula

people are communicating, self-interest is probably the main reason for communication.


EC = SI + IO – DF One is much more interested in his own interests than for others. The above formula can be simplified more simply by making communication equal to self-interest. For this reason, communication is seldom effective because we do not try to find common ground in interaction processes but only to meet certain short-term interests. The most important problem of communication is probably asymmetry. The two parties have different timetables and different interests that are further complicated by asymmetries, knowledge, power and authority. For this reason negotiating skills and tactics have become a very important feature of modern civilization. In ancient times, physical force was a determining factor in compelling the other party to compromise. Thanks to civilization, consensus is now available with communication. This civilization process essentially translates from a "commanding and control" communication culture to a "negotiating and persuasive" culture.

This shift put more emphasis on actually communicating verbally and non-verbally with each other. This also means that better education is needed, in which the development of dialogue skills has become the backbone of modern education. In a young age, you must be able to express your thoughts in presentations, essays, reports, and in various instances in higher education institutions. 19659002] The interest of others is perhaps the most important issue in many textbooks on effective communication. Many authors, scholars, manager-educators etc. Great attention was paid to listening, feedback and feedback, fighting anger, conflict management, stress management, and so on. To fight.

Meeting the problem of meeting the interests of others is becoming increasingly important in introducing information technology and trade in products and services in cyberspace. True globalization has probably happened in cyberspace where a global 24-hour economy has been set up, where everyone exchanges goods, services and information around the world.

He has become a customer for everyone! It's important to look at the needs of others for your customers. This marketing concept was first used in the transaction environment, but it was introduced to learning organizations and has now become an important concept in every corner of life.

The discovery of the interests of others is also non-scientific "tools" such as astrology, numerology, and tarot cards. Prior to the discovery of these tools, a number of scientific tools offered by psychoanalysts have been used (and still are being exploited), depending on psychoanalysis, discussion analysis, transaction analysis, and various types of therapies that may be effective to take seriously or depending on the willingness of the customer no.

How to explore the interests of others? This requires both parties to have a proactive approach. Two strategies can be useful. The first strategy is called a PAIR Approval Strategy: Placate (Listen, Empathize, Give Concern); Take part (for the other); Examine the details of the conditions of the release; Solve (decide what to do). The second strategy is called the five-step process: listening, answering, deciding on action, action, and tracking


The third element of effective communication is probably the most difficult one: how to overcome interfering factors or how to overcome communication obstacles. There are basically six kinds of obstacles between communicating people: differences in perception, incorrect screening, language problems, improperly tacit, different emotional states and different backgrounds. In order to overcome these limitations, we are willing to avoid selective perception, confine messages to the bare point, use concrete and accurate words, always check the interpretation of what is said, know it in ourselves and others communicate and try to control them.

There are communication barriers within organizations. Although communication is the subject of misunderstanding, business communication is particularly difficult. Obstacles are caused by information overload, complexity of messages, message competition, different status, lack of trust, inadequate communication structures, inappropriate media choice, closed communication environment, unethical communication, inefficient communication and physical disturbances . three different moments that can cause a variety of communication obstacles in organizations; during negotiations, negotiating with customers and discussing them. When negotiating, psychological barriers may arise. These psychological barriers may be yours or the other. Be aware that people carry some of the obstacles and "monitor" their effects. Find the other party's (and theirs) signs and use communication skills to mitigate or reduce obstacles. Cracking with customers can, however, be very difficult, as some customers are difficult to absorb, and difficult situations may arise. If you do not provide a high-quality service, your result will not only be a business loss, but often the growth of complex and offensive customers. They have not been lost yet. Carefully address them.

Finally, the negotiating process is a fundamental requirement between claim and value creation. Value seekers consider the negotiations to be merely an adversarial process. Both sides attempt to apply the least limited number of pies without giving as little as possible on the other side. Both sides represent value through manipulative tactics, violent arguments, limited concessions, and hard bargaining. Value creators, on the other hand, call for a process that results in joint gain for each party. They are trying to gain more benefits on both sides of the negotiations. They emphasize common interests, establish a cooperative relationship and negotiate in a pleasant and cooperative way.

Source by Martin Hahn

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