I do not write this article to explain the concept of being a communication expert in relationships … heaven knows this can sometimes be a challenge for all of us. My intention is to share this information because I've been teaching one of my mentors for a number of years and has helped me with all kinds of personal and professional relationships. In our own way, we are all communication experts, at least as we have learned. The problem may be that most people have learned differently from different parents and different cultures … when we disrupt the observations with evaluations, this can be the solution of the problems. Easy to fix if we know when to do it.
First of all, what is the observation? It's as simple as it sounds, it's nothing but what we can see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. This includes our senses. You can see some body language and facial expression; we hear someone talking or noise; we can taste a glass of wine. What happens many times is that people will associate some kind of report with this observation. This is normal and we will do this unconsciously. Some people call it "making things".
Second, what's the rating? When we combine the interpretation of the observations' observations in our minds, we have just made an assessment or formulated an opinion on our observations. Here are some examples … when I see another person smiling, I can estimate how happy we are. When I watch a crippled man, I can estimate he is sad or injured. When I observe an empty face person, I can estimate that I do not care what to say.
Can not my review be incorrect? Is it possible that one is angry and still smiles? Can someone cry and be very happy? Can anybody have a blank face and still think deeply about what I'm saying? Of course they know …
Here's what they've taught and I offer it to be a means of communication. When I observe something; let's say that the person I talk to have a blank look on their faces, I would say, "My observation is that you have a blank look on your face, I appreciate it is not interesting or do not understand what I say … it's a
This simple tool opens a deeper level of communication and understanding between people and can help us to prevent "making things" in our relationships